Tuesday, January 8, 2008

One more political update

The good people at Bacon Unwrapped are asking the hard-hitting questions on the issue that I really care about in this election: How do the candidates feel about bacon?

A couple highlights in case you don't feel like clicking over:

Hillary Clinton got a ham and bacon omelette, which shows promise, but she ordered hot tea to drink. That's fine if you're in England but in America you drink milk or juice or you get out!

Barack Obama is rumored to be a vegetarian but I am pleased to say that he is not; he is indeed a bacon fan! This may seem trivial, but maybe if the press were to report on this we could get past the rampant speculation in Middle America that he's one of them daggone Muslims that's trying to kill us all. If only Middle America were smart enough to make the connection that Muslims don't eat pork. However, he does like eggs over easy which I find a bit disconcerting.

Mitt Romney has bizarre eating habits:

"Mitt Romney is so vigilant about nutrition that he eats the same thing every day: his wife’s granola for breakfast, a chicken or turkey sandwich for lunch, and pasta, fish or chicken for dinner."

Seriously what a freak. It's not like you're training to be a bodybuilder, Mitt. Man up and eat a steak. I like this guy less and less all the time.

On the other hand, John McCain probably needs to take it easy on the fatty foods:

"Apart from this morning’s fritter and coffee, he’s had a handful of potato chips and a can of Red Bull...There are trays of chilled Chinese food stashed up front, fallout-shelter eats that are now dug out and served in plastic boxes on plastic trays. McCain picks at a bit of fruit, chokes back a cold egg roll. “I really don’t eat well,” he says. “I eat junk. I kinda get pumped up at these things and don’t have much of an appetite.” He consents to filling the last corner of his stomach with a fortune cookie. "

Dude's 71 years old, if he keeps eating like that he might not even make it to November. I can't imagine that Red Bull is good for an old man's heart. I hear he likes to prepare for debates with Jagerbombs too.

We have no word on Ron Paul's eating habits but I imagine he probably just frolics in the forest and eats mushrooms from under dead trees or whatever little goblin creatures like him eat. Please let me know if you hear anything.

END OF BLOG POST

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